Whether you want to remember it or not, the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs had a football game Saturday afternoon in Birmingham.
Thankfully for us fans of the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs, not a whole lot of people saw what will hopefully go down as this season’s Baffling Conference Loss™. Those (like myself) who attempted to watch UAB’s stream of the gaWELCOME TO LEGION FIELDme were treated to technical difficulties, occasional ambient sounds, a useless score bug, and a broadcast that was enthusiastically WELCOME-ing you TO LEGION FIELD as play soldiered on unbeknownst to the viewer. It was an unpleasant experience. Also the game was bad.
I’m not sure if it was due to the middle-school AV-Club level stream or what but the first three quarters of the game were some of the most uninteresting quarters of Tech football I can remember watching since 2013. Tech slogged through the first part of the game but as the game progressed, you had the feeling that Tech was eventually going to gather its bearings and take control of the game. That kinda happened and then it all went wrong.
Both kickers turned in a kicking performance worthy of a scholarship at the University of South Carolina, combining to miss six out of the eleven kicks on the day, which included missing three of six possible extra points. Since no video exists of the woeful performance of the normally reliable Jonathan Barnes, it is not possible to reasonably place the blame squarely on him. It’s possible that the misses/block were results of bad snaps or holds but either way, it’s an issue that will hopefully be remedied.
Tech gets a bye week to heal up and reset before the Rivalry in Dixie recommences in Ruston.
Josh: *fart noise*
Player of the game
Daniel A: Jaqwis Dancy got the ball a few times and made me say “hey neat” so that’s as good a reason as any to give him PoG for this week
Josh: Dancy had a few solid runs and it’s exciting to see the potential he has going forward.
Nathan: Bonathan Jarnes, the evil step-brother of Jonathan Barnes who took Jonathan’s place on the sideline and intentionally missed the two extra points and had his last FG blocked.
Evan: Dave Nitz, who didn’t make me cry even though he probably could and should have.
gtpdd Metric
Daniel A: Tech did not go until the fourth quarter and then promptly died on the last snap of the game. Sigh.
Josh: DEAD
Evan: I blame Nathan for this loss. 
Nathan: I take full responsibility.
gtpdd Hot Takes
Daniel A: Let’s wait to panic until after the offense struggles when it’s not missing half of its receivers. Also the defence is seems to be mediocre which is an improvement. J’Mar Smith has quietly led Tech on three clutch fourth quarter drives that won/probably should have won games. WORST QB THIS CENTURY
Josh: We could stand up a scarecrow at midfield, have our 11 defensive starters line up to tackle it, and still have 4 players miss completely while the 3 others would bounce off of it.
Nathan: Thank you CUSA.tv for not showing the majority of this disaster.
Evan: I cannot believe that we lost to UAB. Like, I’m currently in deep denial about it. Also, I blamed Nathan already, but shoutout to my girlfriend, too. She gets some blame. In games that I have spent either with her instead of watching Tech, or with her watching Tech, we are 1-4 (lone win being NSU this year). So against FBS opponents, we’re 0-4. There’s your problem, folks!
Taek of the game
LaTech football got me like pic.twitter.com/VZdS1JqEsU
— Matt Gallion (@DenizenMatt) October 7, 2017
Moment of the game
Daniel A: WELCOME TO LEGION FIELD
Josh: Listening to Dave Nitz talk about anything other than the ongoing “football” game.
Nathan: “N/A”
Evan: The moment that happened just now when I read Nathan’s brilliant comment about Bonathan Jarnes, JB’s evil twin. That was the best thing to come from this game.